ain't it scrumptious?

IDK

2012-01-15T19:50:00.002+08:00

I feel new. I feel fresh.

No, not really.

18 items in my make-up bag

2011-12-15T15:48:00.007+08:00

Face
1. Maybelline Clear Smooth Shine Free Face Power w SPF 18 (This works better than the Bobbi Brown finishing powder please!)
2. Smashbox Photo Finish Light face primer
3. Too Faced Retractable Kabuki Brush
4. M.A.C Blush in Pink 27
5. Urban Decay All-Nighter make-up setting spray
6. Chanel Vitalumiere Aqua Liquid Foundation (I rotate foundations)

Brows
7. Benefit Brow-zing
8. Tweezers from Guardian

Lips
9. Revlon Matte Lipstick - 003 Mauve it Over
10. Sara Happ - the lip slip, One Luxe Balm

Eyes
11. Benefit Stay-don't-stray primer (freaking LOVE this)
12. Revlon Colorstay Eyeliner - Black Brown (been a fan since 2005)
13. Fairydrops mascara
14. Majorlica Majorca Jeweling Eyeliner Pencil - BE208
15. Silkygirl Eyelights Pencil in Frosty Silver
16. Eyelash curler from Sasa
17. Benefit Boi-ing Concealer in 02
18. Amazing Concealer in Medium Beige

This is why my bag is so heavy.

Friendship Summary 2011

2011-12-15T15:40:00.002+08:00

At the end, who is to say that I wasn't a good friend when you could just flip the page and move on to the next page easily? I gave it a shot, and then a 2nd chance, and then what? Friends can make or break you. It certainly looks like I made a bunch of friends who made me, and then it all fell apart. Why did I even bother? They change underwear like how they change sleeping partners like how they change close friends.

ohithere

2011-10-04T00:01:00.003+08:00

I am terribly sick and my throat is sore from the hacking cough. My back is also aching because of the strenuous effort in coughing. How many freaking times have I lost my voice?

I have a lot on my mind but I am only capable of typing this much. Pry away, prying eyes.

My Jan-June favourites!

2011-07-12T22:49:00.005+08:00

Biore UV sunscreen - I use this everyday before my make-up. I love it because it controls shine, which allows my foundation to stay on and not melt off after a long day. Can't live without this! Then again my face hasn't gotten any darker because the spf is so high!

Smashbox Photo Finish Light Primer - I'm rotating between this and the Urban Decay Pore Perfecting primer, and I must say... I favour this a little more. Smooth application & won't "clump" at dry patches. Oh my god, my make up stays on more than 12 hours with this primer!

Urban Decay De Slick - Another everyday product. I can't describe how dependent I am on this setting spray. It controls shine (9/10) and sets my foundation & concealer really quickly (10/10). This product + the primer above is the best combi for me!

You can get the Biore sunscreen at Watsons for $13.90 at the sunblock shelves, and other two at Sephora for $65 (or is it $60?) and $48 respectively.

<3

Trust #1

2011-06-30T13:43:00.001+08:00

Saw this comment on xx's blog entry which I really agree with.

"I hate when people say, "I hate when he/she looks at my text. It's not because it's private or I have something to hide. It's just an invasion of my privacy." But if you're in a relationship, you're basically in union with one another. Why be in a relationship if you can't share your privacy? This is why people go in and out of relationships too easily. If you think your gf looking at your texts is her way of not trusting you, then you probably don't trust her very much either. Why not make them feel at ease and hell, SHOW them your texts because you have nothing to hide?"

So true eh?

2011-06-23T11:23:00.001+08:00

I got this from Isaac’s facebook.

Whys in the past week.

2011-05-05T15:38:00.001+08:00

Why am I so sick?

Why are they so sweet?

Why are they so careless?

Why is he so hot?

Why did I just purchase another book when I am too busy to read?

- Posted from my iPhone

Claire

2011-04-19T10:27:00.002+08:00

My baby niece's 1st Birthday last Monday. I miss her.

Lush!

2011-04-03T18:18:00.017+08:00

I was SO excited when I walked by Summerloft @ HV Shopping Centre and found Lush products! Lush is big in USA, and I believe the Lush store in Singapore closed down a few years back.

Anyway, Summerloft didn't import everything but they have a nice selection. I spent an hour in the store smelling every single product over and over again and finally picked a few.

Clockwise from left: Iced Wine Jelly, Sultana Soap, Sexy Peel Soap, Rockstar Soap (Gift

Wrapped for a colleague), Lip Service Lip Balm, Sandstone Soap, Rockstar Soap, 2 Scent Bags with Creamy Candy Bubble Bar in them, Figs & Leaves Soap, Mint Julips Lip Scrub.

I love all of them, especially the Rockstar soap and Creamy Candy Bubble Bar which is supposed to look like ... see below! But I got the sales assistant to cut them up into two separate chunks to store in the organza bags so that I can use them as room scents. Do note that the scent is stronger when you break the bars open.

I have hung one of the bags in the toilet and the smell is just amazing! I am really sold and will DEFINITELY buy them again. Anyways the bubble bar is obviously for baths, but since I only have a standing shower at home... so ya.

I read online that these bubble bars last a really long time as scents, which is great because the Glade scented gels and whatnot have been failing miserably. Gel scents aren't strong enough, potpourri gets dusty and spiders love to live in them, candles... a fire hazard and scent sprays are short-lived and expensive and don't you notice when the spray lands on the floor, it becomes sticky? Therefore, I would strongly recommend the bubble bar or any other bathbombs as room scents. :)

The Lush soaps are so hard to pick! I love the light scents, candy scents and the citrus ones for perk-me-ups.

The sales assistant gave me these soap pouches to store my soaps in them as they tend to melt away if they are exposed to water/steam and hardly used. It is such a great idea because these pouches can be used to exfoliate your body too!

I brought the Mint Julips lip scrub to Martin's place yesterday to share the love with my closest friends and I have mixed feelings about it. It was good as a scrub, but maybe I overdid the scrubbing and my lip bled. Gross eh? Hahaha. I shall give it another chance. Oh.. I wanted the Bubblegum flavour but it was out of stock. :( Anyway, I've been hunting for a lip scrub like this for forever, and I couldn't wait for Grace to return from US with it so you can imagine how overjoyed I was to find it in SG.

Lip scrubs are so hard to find in beauty stores in SG, and I only found 2 so far. 1 is from Sasa which costs a leg, and another is from Korres. I bought the Korres lip scrub in desperation although I didn't really like it. (I haven't found Lush in SG that time).

I didn't like that it's in the lipstick form because it's rather unhygienic. The rice grains doesn't exfoliate very well, so I guess the "Gently Exfoliating/Softening" description fits.

The soap bars cost between $14.30 to $16.90 per 100grams. Lip scrub + lip balm is $29.90. I really hope Lush will open in Singapore again. If only I had the capital to start a franchise....

Oh and another product that I've been using and LOVING for almost a year now is the L'OREAL Hydrafresh Anti-Shine Fresh Purifying Icy Foam facial cleanser.

It does what it says and it is great as a perk-me-up in the morning. Love it! Watsons is having a buy 2 get 1 free for the L'oreal cleansers now! Be quick!!

so saaaaaaaad

2011-03-23T11:45:00.002+08:00

Yet another best friend left the country.

I only have Ching left. CHING CHING, DON'T LEAVE ME! :'(

Reality Strikes!

2011-03-09T10:57:00.002+08:00

Words cannot describe how tired I am. I am mentally and physically worn out from everything in life. I just want to go on a hiatus. I need a freaking break already! I just want to sleep my whole day away and not do anything productive. I just want to lay in bed and stare into nothingness.

For now... let me just get back to work.

SIGH

Before & After - The Grace Makeover

2011-02-24T01:15:00.001+08:00

I just realised that my walls are a shade of robin's egg blue. Totally unintentional. It is actually faded pastel green. LOL

hopeful

2011-01-30T23:39:00.001+08:00

So much shit has been happening at home and at work. I'm so upset so tired so annoyed all at once but I can only deal with it. Why can't people just understand? Do I have to lay it all out? I can't. I only hide and build a barrier and say things differently. Who can I really talk to?

stupidity at its best

2011-01-14T16:07:00.002+08:00

irritants

2011-01-12T01:21:00.001+08:00

Absolutely hate it when people take forever in the shower. Also hate bossy people. Also hate people who abuses their authority. Can't stand long-windedness. Hate male chauvinistic PIGS. Hate braggarts. I guess out of all the above, I hate MCPs the most. I know a few and they are eyesores I don't think I'll be able to rid off for a long time.. Oh lord.

not good

2011-01-04T23:26:00.001+08:00

It's so stupid to give an ex boyfriend who beat you up for no fucking reason a second chance. Yeah love is blind. I've witnessed that many times. But this mistake is a freaking no-brainer. Show some class, girl. You have totally degraded yourself to his vermin status. Don't want to hear your defense saying that he's not a gangster, not an ah beng... Oh lord you are so blinded. We shall see how long you can avoid our questions. We shall see whether you survive living together with a vermin in the society who probably has no future. What? Go overseas to attain employment pass and live and work? With that background of his, he can go nowhere ok? That is the truth! And he has no future if he doesn't get a proper and legal job in Singapore. Why don't you get it when I said you are following in your mom's footsteps? Don't you hate the man who fathered you to the core?! Here you go, you have gotten another dude similar to your father. The vermin thinks he's hot stuff huh? Cut that ugly bieber hair already! He's old enough to think straight but he doesn't. Who the hell would believe that he has no choice but participate in illegal activities? Everyone has a choice. He can do junior level jobs, but it's because of his stupidity and greed he doesn't. Well don't be surprised if you lose everyone around you one day.

be gone, 2010.

2010-12-28T23:32:00.002+08:00

I know I shouldn't be counting the bad luck I had in year 2010 because I should be positive .. blablablabla but this has got to be the last straw. It's not that I want to count them, but the amount of bad luck I have been receiving is way too much for me. Is this a test?

Right now, I can only hope for this extreme hurdle to pass. I can only wish for the best.

iplunge!

2010-12-22T00:39:00.005+08:00

I really wanted to get myself this when I first saw it and a colleague bought it for me as a surprise today!! Not forgetting to mention, other colleagues gave me awesome gifts, xmas lunch treats and cards too. So loved :)

On a side note, I really hope 2011 will be thrice as awesome as 2010.

It happens.

2010-12-20T22:49:00.003+08:00

My mood fluctuated like mad today. From happy to pissed off to super pissed off to exploding with rage to happy to overjoyed.

Oh well. And to think it's not PMS.

It's scary.

My fear

2010-12-17T01:41:00.005+08:00

Do you know how it feels like to be dystichiphobic and slightly ochophobic at the same time? I don't know if I am able to overcome them. Sigh.... It makes me feel like a burden because I can't help fidgeting and giving sudden jerks because I am afraid. I have to fight that urge to shout out loudly. I have to tell all the drivers to go slow, and not to tailgate, and to keep a distance from the car in front. I hate myself for forgetting to tell them not to keep swerving and cutting lanes. I feel so horribly insecure because I can't trust all the other moving vehicles. I feel FUCKING HORRID when "my side of the car" is next to the railing, the bushes, the kerb, another vehicle, or anything stationary. I feel ticked off when the vehicle in front keeps flashing the rear brake lights. Fuck la.

Dystichiphobia is the fear of being in a car accident.

Ochophobia is the fear of being in a moving vehicle.

favourite photos of the bunch

2010-11-29T23:57:00.004+08:00

USS is such a happy place. I felt so happy and carefree like a little kid. I will be going back there again but with my boyfriend this time. Can't wait :)

I know my hair is damn messy in this photo below. That's cuz there was a queue to take pictures with Charlie and the crew hurriedly snapped before I had the chance to tidy my hair. Oh well.

With Charlie Chaplin. We both had bowler hats!

With Sabrina and Alex, the lion from Madagascar movie.

Love this photo because our faces (including the mascot) exudes glee :)

I like to, MOVE IT!

*physically fit physically fit physically physically physically fit*

Okay shan't flood any more narcissistic shots. That's all! TK Christmas Dinner & Dance this Saturday! Can't wait to wear my purple gown. Yippee!

seatbelts

2010-11-28T22:44:00.002+08:00

I was involved in a chain accident on AYE yesterday morning. My taxi was the 4th car to crash in the chain of 7 or 8 cars. I was scared shitless and in shock I paused in my seat for 20 secs before trying to get out. The impact of hitting the car in front was not as hard as the car that hit my taxi. Honestly, if it weren't for my seatbelt, I would have whammed head first into the seat in front, or even flew forward to the windscreen. I am glad to be alive.

I have been down on my luck for the past few weeks, but I managed to survive this without a single scratch. So my message to whoever reading this is... WEAR YOUR FUCKING SEATBELT. It's not "loserish" to wear it. Almost everyone I know doesn't put on their seatbelts because they are either lazy, or think it's embarrassing cuz they don't want to be seen as "kiasi". Either way they are being complacent. I was like that but the video Marv showed me changed my mindset altogether.

Anyway, so I managed to get off AYE cuz I hitched a ride on the ambulance to NUH. Took a cab to RWS for my company's outing at Universal Studios. Shall elaborate on this happy note on the next entry when I get the pictures. :)

very farkin sick

2010-11-24T22:59:00.002+08:00

I hate feeling vulnerable. It makes me feel like people can enter this barricade that I have put up emotionally. Maybe I should tear it down and just be real. Not that all other emotions have been fake, but I guess bottling things up makes me more determined to be stronger despite the fact that I'm deteriorating inside.

midnight thoughts

2010-11-22T00:51:00.001+08:00

Oh hello nobody. It's been almost a month since my grandpa passed away. I have been living fine, but I really miss those times when we gathered at his place every weekend. My grandma would whip up the usual dishes and all my paternal relatives would hang out, eat, watch tv and talk. I don't know why but these gatherings stopped. May be due to some conflict between the seniors. Somehow my grandma never really stopped cooking in large portions. She used to call us every now and then to go to her place to eat but I was too young and stupid to realise that all she wanted was for us to gather again like we used to. No one ever went to eat at my grandparents' place anymore I think. Everyone else' visits to them never coincided. My paternal side just gradually fell apart. When I pay my once in a blue moon visits, my grandpa would tell me his stories repeatedly and my grandma never fails to make me eat all the food she cooked. I never once finished my food because she cooked in huge quantity... I would never forget how my grandpa thanked me for visiting them. It made me feel like an ingrate but I was too stupid to realise it back then. I always believed that I must cherish things and people around me before it's too late, but ... Sigh.. I guess it never occurred to me that regrets would come so soon. I really regret all the things I did and did not do. I want to turn back time now and tell my grandpa how sorry I am for being such an unfilial granddaughter and that I love him. I will make more time to visit my grandma... Who is all alone now. Anyway, I really wish I don't have so many problems. They are all so mind boggling and it gives me insomnia. God please help me.

stood. me. up.

2010-10-30T00:32:00.002+08:00

he stood me up for some fun & games at his school's halloween party. thanks. thanks for doing nothing and not doing anything nor being by me since my ah gong's passing 3 days ago.

after so long.

2010-10-24T06:31:00.002+08:00

i thought we had forever.

i can't understand.

pamper meself time!

2010-10-18T15:05:00.002+08:00

i really need some me time. i look at my opi collection every weekend but can't find the strength to do it, look at my face masks everyday but can't bring myself to put on the mask either. i'm too tired. i need to get a massage, get classic mani pedi, dye my hair roots. ugh. someone please recommend a spa which provides all of the services above?

stupid phone

2010-10-05T00:14:00.003+08:00

my phone didn't survive the crash landing. now i'm frantically trying to back up all the files but nokia pc suite has to be a bitch. the good thing is, i managed to retrieve all my contacts, but .. but my special sms folder is gone!!!! all the sweet smses i saved for the past 2 years we've been together...... is all gone.

i'm so freaking upset. :'(

love the way you lie

2010-09-20T01:34:00.003+08:00

i really love this music video. i think it's the best one this year. it evokes a lot of emotions. if you ever know love, fierce love.. you would feel this video. i can feel their anger, their hurt, their pain of lacking control and loving too much.

not so lucky after all

2010-09-19T07:39:00.004+08:00

it's 7.39am, and i am still wide awake. just thought i'll add yet another boring entry on this blog. anywaaay, kart racing was fun yet scary. i know i am a wuss, but i've got my phobias man. i had to overcome my strange fear of being too close to the curb/or anything stationary while in a moving vehicle. it was worse doing the kart racing because the go-karts are open vehicles. i felt i was too exposed and if i crash, my injuries would be much worse.

well thankfully nothing happened except waking up to BAAAAAAAAAAAAAD muscle/back/joint aches the next day. i even managed to drift drift drift drift. here's a picture i grabbed from my coworker's facebook. i ought to invest in a nice, swanky digicam soon so i can quit being a photo-thief. sigh

i remember it was just the heats #01. i'm lucky number 7, who unfortunately, came in last. fail.

thoughts

2010-09-13T23:45:00.007+08:00

hello. i was at a funeral earlier and the eldest child of the deceased gave a speech during the service. this sentence she said really struck me, "it is better to pass on than to be at war which will eventually cause your death." how true. even if it's a mental, emotional, psychological war or physical war, they all will eventually result in death. which could be the death of your feelings, the death of your senses, the death of you.

on a happier note, i bought the new The Beauty Diary masks to try. the previous masks were so thick it absorbed most of the serum which did nothing for my face. and now, they are so thin, they really fit better & there's so much serum!! i have on the bird's nest mask. hope they're good!

on an even happier note, go-karting with the company tomorrow!!! woohoooo!! oh ya, and happy 21st birthday to my younger sister! love love!!

simplicity at its best

2010-09-10T14:23:00.008+08:00

i expected this birthday to be quiet and simple, but it was not only that. i received so much love from my friends and family and colleagues, people whom i'm not particularly close to.. and my special someone whom i've been so closely attached to for the past 2 years. thank you all so much for the wishes, for the presents, for coming into my life, for putting a smile on my face. thank you for the cakes and for making me feel so special.

best birthday ever :)

goodness i don't even have a freaking group photo of my dinner at mykii. waiting for that titus phoon to send....... HELLO TITUS?!?!?

/photo added (19 sep)

robin tagged me in this photo he took on his iphone. i like it :)

can't sleep

2010-09-01T01:45:00.004+08:00

so much on my mind, but no right words for them.

i'm listening to one of my favourite songs, The Beatles - Hey Jude, and the tune, the lyrics, never fail to inspire me and set me thinking about life in general. don't you have a song that inspires you too?

moving out was probably one of the best decisions i've made in 2010. it's not the norm for singaporeans to move out from their parents' till they get married or something, but i did. it's not a bad thing at all, honestly. just like the lyrics "take a sad song and make it better", i made an effort to try to make the sad songs in my life better. i admit i was rash in making the decision to move out on my own due to anger but life is really too short to hesitate. if i didn't move, i would never learn to be even more independent than i already am. i wouldn't realise how much concern my friends/colleagues give, how precious everyone are, i wouldn't reminisce the happy times at home. i really took things for granted.

so far

2010-08-28T14:13:00.002+08:00

it's been a while since i blogged. i've been too busy with work, moving out, settling in and getting used to the environment. work was by far the most challenging one because i was the chief coordinator for the 2-day teambuilding event. it was really hard to coordinate because of the conflicting characters in the office, but at the end of the day, it all worked out great. majority had a lot of fun and i did too!

holland v has been wonderful so far. the bus ride to town is merely 10 minutes. and travelling to work takes 30 minutes max. i get along fine with everyone at home and it's really peaceful and quiet cuz everyone's always studying or doing stuff on their computer. after a long day at work, all i need is solace and that's something i can never find when i was back home at bedok.

anyway, i should write and post more photos for keepsake. maybe next week. gotta prepare for kite-flying, dinner, and ngl's party part II. till then!

before the move

2010-08-08T23:17:00.004+08:00

i don't know why my mom has to give me such a bad attitude. i think she didn't expect me to really move out, after all it's been 2 months since i broke the news to her. i don't know if i can call this place my home or these people my family anymore after i leave. it's not that i won't come back to visit, but there's absolutely nothing here worth coming back for. the souvenir i got for my mom from thailand is unappreciated. she dumped it with all the boxes i packed. please don't tell me i'm sensitive. anyone can tell that she's sorta saying "moving out? take all this shit with you and don't ever ask me for help". i guess she didn't think that it's because of her precious son and daughter-in-law (who doesn't even clear the kitchen bin which is already full. she dumped all her food packages, bottles, and BABY'S USED DIAPERS till it's mountain high oh gawwwwd. ok i digress) and all the stupid decisions she made that caused this.

it is going to be really hard. although i don't have ANY support from my family, at least i've got support from my friends and boyfriend. i guess that's enough. at least i know a couple of people will be crying harder than my family members if i drop dead.

failblog

2010-08-03T12:07:00.001+08:00

just gotta post this pic i got from failblog. that's some dramatic shit man.

pre-move out #1

2010-07-27T11:54:00.003+08:00

now 3 people at home are dead to me. i can't wait till they move out or die or something so i could possibly move back home after my lease. talking big and being so thick-headed gets you nowhere because you can't and you won't walk your talk. at the end of the day, your satisfaction at lashing out evil and hurtful words are scorned at, because? because you have done NOTHING to back your words. no actions and all words. who's laughing? me.

finally a date is fixed for my move. i'm so grateful for the lovely friends & colleagues who offered their help. it's rather funny that the people who offered are not my closest pals and yet they shower me with so much love. :) deeply appreciated!

angry

2010-07-25T12:26:00.003+08:00

sucks to be at home. i hate almost everything here. hate it when all my parents ask for is money. hate it when ... fuck i can't even type everything in detail on this blog. ok i'm so angry that my blog doesn't serve its purpose cuz i can't be absolutely open without having to set it to private.

on hindsight

2010-07-20T14:01:00.000+08:00

it wouldn't hurt to go back to bkk again. i love the food, and the shopping.. and the adventures. ;)

last week #01

2010-07-19T11:34:00.003+08:00

and so i watched despicable me and inception last week. it's so good my words don't do them justice. the end.

paintball 2010

2010-07-15T12:09:00.004+08:00

a tedious game of paintball with some of my colleagues (not including the boy in pic. doh) before my bkk trip. got shot on the shoulder. this game is no joke man. it REALLY hurts. a couple of people who wore short sleeve tees got open wounds on their arms. and people had bruises even though they wore long sleeve tops or thicker. that's how hard the impact is. not to the extent of brains bursting open lah, but got the mark on your flesh and it bleeds.

on a bimbo note, the grey jeans i wore to the game got mud stains cuz i knelt in the mud. before you think i'm really that stupid, i didn't see the mud cuz the safety mask blocked my view of the ground a metre ahead of me. anyways back to what i was saying about my jeans. couldn't wash off the mud stains, got really annoyed, so i bought 2 uniqlo jeans (free alterations in <1.5hrs! awesome) to replace that dirty pair. hurhur. end of story.

then again

2010-07-13T17:13:00.002+08:00

oh yes! i'm moving out in less than a month from now. i will definitely miss my mom.

then again, i'm looking forward to a new life. i'm so sick and tired of my current one. things are coming and going so quickly i don't even have time to breathe.

i need to breathe! we're thinking of a little quiet getaway to penang, staying at antony's apartment.

bangkock. bangkok i mean.

2010-07-13T17:07:00.005+08:00

"eventful, but will not return again."

i look really chubby taking a frontal shot leh. damn it. anyway this photo was taken at the floating market, WHICH TOTALLY SUCK!!! waste of time, waste of money, waste of effort. and sometimes you have water splashed onto you. which is fine.. only if the water isn't used by the villagers for showering, cooking, washing, cleaning, as sewage system and as a rubbish bin.

speaking my mind

2010-06-29T09:59:00.003+08:00

if only somebody could tell me what my world is becoming.
then i wouldn't feel so lost, wouldn't need to cry, and feel frantic.

i ran. i ran & cried to grab a taxi so i could get to you in 15 minutes flat. there weren't any cars in sight. bad sign. oh i see headlights! and like as if planned, the first car that appeared was a taxi.

i was clearly distraught, but i held back my emotions and wanted to set the record straight. i was really ... in shock. i felt like vermin, i shouldn't be there, i didn't belong. if tears are associated with pain, then i could say that i didn't cry at all at that point, i was clear headed, and i thought to myself that any tears that fall wouldn't do my pain justice. it was, or rather, is indescribable.

that wasn't how i imagined things would be.

tripping

2010-06-09T15:04:00.004+08:00

just saw these hilarious pictures created by dominic. i didn't know they're gif images when i first saw them on my mobile Gravity. antony's faces in these images make me laugh. know which one is antony? no prizes if you guess correctly.

angst might kill you

2010-05-31T12:14:00.006+08:00

a follow-up on my previous entry; life's seriously not getting any better. i can't help but feel so depressed. if you have a conflict at work, you can just quit. but that's not the case for a family conflict. it can stay for a really long time. i am very unhappy at home but i have to suppress it. like i said, anger is my best friend for the moment and suppressing it throws me into an emotional whirlwind. i really can't stand another day being under the same roof as people who get on my nerves. being at home is like trying to tame a wild animal.

i was not like that. i could tolerate every bullshit with maybe an occasional retaliation but every discrepancy will be resolved in the end. look at what the fuck is happening now? i have stooped to the same level as them. at times when i zap back into reality, i will be so appalled at all the nasty remarks i received, replied, sent. wtf? i am tired of being nasty, fighting to be heard, and getting my point across. NOBODY LISTENS!!!!!!

anyway, i am so glad yet so sad i'm getting out of the hellhole in august. although moving out puts me in beggar-mode, but it would aid my psychological & emotional well-being. i will become psychotic if i continue fighting with anyone at home.

ANYWAY, THE ABOVE WAS SOME EMO SHIT HUH. MAJOR PMS ONLY MY EVENING PRIMROSE OIL HAS YET TO TAKE EFFECT. LOL.

LET ME SHOW YOU SOME PHOTOS OF MY FUTURE HOME.

worsen.

2010-05-18T13:39:00.003+08:00

at this stage, i am surprised at myself for not leaving home yet. i used to be very diplomatic and somewhat nonchalant towards all the anger and hate at home but i have to admit (how shameful) that i've evolved into one of the haters. no one at home knows how to truly listen to anything anyone has to say. everyone lashes out but no one will ever want to take the whip. what is this place man? it's only a place i store my things, shower, be sheltered and sleep at now? everyone gets suspicious of one another and there's NOTHING that's done out of love. even if there is a hint of it, it will only be thought as a motive. i don't want to be in any of this but it is hard. the more i want to get out of it, the further i sink. fuck la.

how to survive a disaster

2010-05-11T10:44:00.009+08:00

an amazing article that i think everyone ought to read. especially awe-inspiring for me, since i'm on the 41st floor of my building.

"How one person made a difference".

When the planes struck the Twin Towers on Sept. 11, 2001, Rick Rescorla embodied that spirit of survival. The head of security for Morgan Stanley Dean Witter at the World Trade Center, Rescorla believed that regular people were capable of great achievements, with a bit of leadership. He got Morgan Stanley employees to take responsibility for their survival — which happened almost nowhere else that day in the Trade Center.

2010-05-10T00:03:00.000+08:00

i guess every relationship has their own set of problems.

ouch

2010-05-07T10:38:00.003+08:00

what i'm gonna blog now is a stark contrast to my previous entry. just when i thought we were happy... i was wrong. the previous entry is making look extremely stupid now, but who really cares? i guess things have dragged on far too long between us and both of us just don't want to go on anymore. it must have gotten tiring for him to handle all my bullshit, and vice versa. although i must say that i played a part in the bullshit (but of course), but it is ... argh.. it's so hard to think of the words now because all i feel is heartache. this must be what they call "reality bites". i probably bit off more than what i could chew. right now i'm choking and about to die. i can't seem to cough it out and breathe.

it feels like square one. it's like i'm back to the state where i just got out of my previous long relationship and i told myself "you can work this, girl. no guy is worth living or dying for." as much as this deal with it period suck, i have to stay strong. i don't want to be in the stage of wallowing in misery, being emo 24/7, crying buckets of tears again. it's so hard to deal with this at work. i can't concentrate.

just let me be an escapist now please. i need some time to find out how to get out of this emotional hellhole i'm in.

got to stop procrastinating

2010-05-05T09:38:00.002+08:00

i just realised our 18th month is this saturday. i'm happy he's happy so i believe there will be many more months to follow. getting together with setoh was a big step back in 2008 as i had issues (who doesn't?), but i'm glad i was won over. he makes me cry but he makes me laugh even harder. absolute no regrets being his girlfriend. :)

reminder to self.
a few of the hundred things i have to do:

1. send my blazer for dry-cleaning
2. send b's jeans for alteration (has been in my wardrobe for MONTHS)
3. start jogging otherwise my new nike shoes are kinda redundant
4. get new spectacles/contact lenses
5. eyelash extension
6. (if possible, after all of the above) save money

epitome of lethargy

2010-05-04T10:27:00.005+08:00

the words won't be the same now, because all that i wanted to relate here yesterday, was gone when there was a power failure. i don't know if anyone is reading this anymore, after all i've been delivering uninteresting one/two-liners because life's been.. what you would call, stagnant? it's occupied with work, simple boyfriend & friends-lovin. i hate it so much, but the stagnant stage is inevitable i guess. my mind & body wants to reverse, but my heart & soul needs to stay. i really miss those days when i bum around, party all night long, chillax, hang out till daybreak, because a part of me thinks that doing all that is what life is all about - making yourself happy! it is an irony since i'm sitting at my office desk, typing all this stuff that's probably never gonna happen. bah. i don't want to be the hare competing with the turtle, i don't even want to be the turtle doing its slow & steady race. i want to be none of them. i...need a vacation. july, fucking july, come quickly please. oh, and i NEED A DOG. one with the same character as pepsi, adam's dog. actually i really would love to have his dog. give me lah, adam? hahahahah

please just look at the dog and ignore my '2hrs of sleep, after a long day at the beach' face.

2010-04-28T14:06:00.002+08:00

i'm gonna catch Ip Man 2 tonight! and Iron Man 2 tomorrow! whooopeee! i was so kiasu i booked my tickets last weekend. harhar. can't wait. :)

2010-04-21T15:51:00.002+08:00

just because you can't make everyone fall at your feet means you gotta make them fall over. what a bitch.

2010-04-03T22:16:00.002+08:00

you just can't make everyone feel the same about you. if you think you're important, think again. probably when the whole world falls on you, they just wouldn't carry much of your weight for you anymore. it happens. perhaps i shouldn't ask, i shouldn't probe. i shouldn't look back on the things we have gone through together. i should go forward because we are living for the future.

2010-03-30T10:31:00.000+08:00

why do i feel so unhappy & dissatisfied?

2010-03-29T10:18:00.002+08:00

an eventful weekend. things went haywire but turned out interesting. enjoyed myself with all my lovely girlfriends whom i got to know from different walks of my life. girls night out again soon :) meanwhile, it's some boyfriend-lovin this weekend. we're gonna re-enact the stunt we pulled during the period of our courtship. a bit mad but that's what keeps us together. hehe

2010-03-23T17:21:00.003+08:00

nothing quite as special as love.

2010-03-22T16:08:00.002+08:00

i am in a good mood today despite my stiff neck. :) just felt the need to blog this so in the future i'll read this and feel happy again.

paige, you do know what you're happy with & about right? :) haaha

2010-03-20T20:16:00.002+08:00

2010-03-19T13:43:00.002+08:00

it's through so much agony, that i finally arrive at friday. i can't even have proper sleep this week. i need a well deserved break, but as of now, i don't deserve it because i haven't worked hard enough. but extreme hard work makes a lot of people (that i know) look like they have gained 30 years, grow white hair or recede a lot of hair. hmm. i guess between working hard and looking fabulous, i'll take the latter.

2010-03-18T08:30:00.000+08:00

you know what they say about ruining your relationship with your boyfriend when you dislike his best bud? some things just can't be helped. an example would be, disgust.

2010-03-15T13:54:00.011+08:00

i'm feeling nostalgic. i miss bumming. i know bumming is like being the dead weight and good for nothing at home, but i truly truly, miss it. since my current situation is the direct opposite, i might as well make the best of it. earn more money, travel, keep myself happy, then marry the man i love (provided he loves me too). what makes me miss bumming even more is not being able to sleep in everyday, cuddling in bed with b on weekends, having to wake up early for work, and rush for the bathroom, the bus, the train, for the lift.. right now, i have to work VERY hard to live life my way. sigh @ reality.

on a random note, b has this wallpaper i love very much.

very cute cub!

people whom i love to party with

dog i would love to spend more time with

friends whom i love being with
bag i would love to own

*inserts picture of Ferragamo tote bag i can't find anywhere*

ok, good day!

2010-03-14T11:56:00.002+08:00

i am ~~most probably~~ going to bkk in july! can't wait!

2010-03-11T11:49:00.004+08:00

i dreamt of my sister-in-law's younger sister today. someone whom i've never met, but is on the verge of death. i don't know what the dream is telling me but nevertheless, please wake up, Noi. please wake up.

in my point of view, humans should not only hear, but listen. don't only look, but observe. don't just speak, but relate. however much you gleam with pride, your shine will be worn off with regrets.

2010-03-09T14:22:00.001+08:00

been very upset, paranoid and angry lately.

2010-03-08T15:03:00.001+08:00

just made my first huge blunder at work. people who understand your position best, are the ones who watch you fall. yeah, sure. thanks for the push, bitch.

2010-03-02T10:56:00.002+08:00

i had a weird dream this morning. i dreamt that i was cycling with a guy & a girl on the same bike towards somewhere. and when we arrived, it was somewhere scary, like a mock Hell. everyone i love was there, smiling, happy, joking around and taking photos... with weird people who had scary make-up walking around. funny thing was, i seemed to be the only one afraid. those scary beings were either in all white make-up like a geisha, or stained charcoal black. some weren't exactly walking, but instead, hopping (like chinese zombies). luckily for me, i didn't have to go further into the dream because i woke up very abruptly from the dream when my alarm rang 7.25am. damn. laaaaate!

2010-03-01T15:28:00.007+08:00

sometimes, i wish our paternal relatives would be as loving as they were. all of us used to gather every weekend at my ah ma's to catch up, watch tv, and eat the mixed vegetables my hunched ah ma cooked. everything deteriorated out of a sudden and i was too young to comprehend. and now, it's like as if those paternal relatives don't exist at all. is this what's gonna happen in my family too?

at times, i really don't bother. i have had enough of bull. living with the best and also the worst personalities at home really leaves me enraged with my innards threatening to burst. i can't live with people who are extremely self-centered, who's so selfish and so mistrusting. it hurts everyone around you when you're mistrusting about every single thing. who doesn't want to feel worthy? who doesn't want to be treated fairly? i don't deserve the bad treatment. because. i'm just as human.

there are, of course, better things happening. like catching Dear John, then clubbing with b. yes, just two of us. it was an impromptu decision to head down to dbl o to relive the old times and we enjoyed ourselves very much. seems to me we truly enjoy boogeying and flailing our arms around like mad monkeys. :]

2010-02-26T11:58:00.002+08:00

i've slept facing my supposed good fengshui, lou hei-ed a few times, had lion dance at my work place and even had the lion toss an orange to me (for good luck i think?)... but i don't feel the huat at all. maybe the huat is coming with the toto results. hahaha i got ching to purchase it for me since she was raving about winning the $10 million and yeah.

2010-02-22T12:33:00.002+08:00

I found a birthday card & 20 bucks in a bag I received from my aunt for my 21st birthday.

6 months ago.

2010-02-19T12:17:00.005+08:00

funny how the office cleaner calls me Peach instead of Paige. on a side note, i need to stock up my snacks drawer at my work desk.

i think i might have been cheated of my money from a blogshop. the parcel never arrived and the owner just agreed to give me free registered mail at my next purchase. i wont be that dumb to let you take a second bite man. bitch. i just received it! best (cheap) online purchase ever!

at work

2010-02-18T12:46:00.004+08:00

clubbing on a weekday is now out of question. i don't have that stamina anymore. i am trying so hard to stay awake at work. anyway, to keep my eyes open, i've been scouting for a nice evening gown for no reason in particular. another comms ball, maybe. haha

CRINKLE CHIFFON SLEEVELESS GOWN
$328.00

i want!!!!!!!!!

2010-02-17T08:33:00.001+08:00

geez. you have no idea how much concealor i had to slap onto my dark circles. dreaded getting out of bed, but pushed myself since i would be wearing my little black work dress. whoop! then to dinner with nicole, kevin, harie & andrew after work. whoop! can't wait. to show off my naise dress and look like a full-fledged OL!

2010-02-16T15:20:00.002+08:00

happy birthday b! sorry i'm unable to give you the best birthday ever, but i know i will do my best to make it the happiest one for you. :) i love you.

cny celebrations took its toll on me. i just woke up and am blogging with my nokia in bed. i'm too lazy to get up. i wanna let the cny goodies sit happily inside me. oh and day 3 is seriously weird this year. no poker games, no mahjong dates. hello?????

2010-02-14T09:55:00.000+08:00

woohoo can't wait to go visiting in my new dress! may i win in blackjack, poker, mahjong, and guitar heroes. hahaha

2010-02-13T12:46:00.002+08:00

i bought 3 black dresses last night, and one of them would be my work black dress. my taste is very different this year. i'm going for sequins and black bling whereas many other girls are going for anything but black. well i don't wanna purchase something i would only wear for LNY. every single year i would tell myself to wear something fab but fab is too meh for my relatives. black is the new rave, the new sex. so this year's the time. tomorrow's the day!

2010-02-12T10:56:00.004+08:00

i didn't wear something loud to the office today although i said i would. i'm in black and grey, and my mood is just as gray. it's been three days, and bonitochico hasn't replied my comment. i'm giving up on them. got to drag my ass to do some cny shopping after work today then. shopping on the friday before cny is a love-hate event. i hate having to battle the crowd. :(

morning tea for today.

2010-02-12T01:57:00.002+08:00

ive donned on black outfits on 3 working days this week. my solemn fashion sense was to prepare myself for any death sentences i might receive because my head is now alone on the chopping block. i am up for a change. gonna wear something bright, floral (cos it reminds me of frolick and you only frolick when youre happy. yah i know that frolick & floral have entirely different meanings,... but because.) and colourful to amplify my mood later!

2010-02-11T18:45:00.002+08:00

and today is the day. i broke some barriers and got to know my colleagues better. cny lunch was fun. taking photos of/for them was fun. i thought i wasn't very happy when i first joined because some of them were hostile, and it maintained even after my predecessor left. but things changed today. although the lunch at peony jade restaurant was mediocre, all that mattered to me at that point was the laughter we all shared. and the people who used to ignore me or put up a front let their guards down and smiled at me. it's a nice feeling. :]

2010-02-10T23:38:00.005+08:00

i have finally graduated. you must be thinking i ought to be psyched. hah but no, i'm really not. yay. i just painted my nails the usual etude house red. my sister says she's so bored of this colour but i don't know. i'm just afraid of attempting new colours because they might not match my wardrobe, or the colour isn't professional enough for work, or if it's too professional it looks OLD on me and i'm really trying to maintain my youth. honestly, being professional is like being boring. you know what happens to boring people? that's right. nothing!

anyway, elize and i am sourcing for nice and cheap food for lunch, preferably CBD near tanjong pagar area. working people talk: anywhere nearby can already, cheap yet good and don't so dirty. crowded neh mind, i can always use my tissue paper to chop the seats. oh by the way, i swear to god i heard some ols pronounce orange as orh leng. haha that's sooo yixiong.

ahhh damn i ruined my coat of paint. on my nails. in case you forgot.

8feb

2010-02-07T20:38:00.003+08:00

Happy 15th Monthsary, my ♥.

All About Food.

2010-01-27T14:51:00.004+08:00

lunch at tan quee lan at 12pm. just had bear papa's pastry. my hr manager bought cheng tng for me. my weight stays the same but i feel wobbly. wobbly on my stomach & thighs. sigh.

Nicole, ANTM 13

2010-01-22T00:24:00.000+08:00

I want her jawline. God bless my double chin. :(

Golden Monkey

2010-01-21T14:08:00.004+08:00

This is so hideous. I will try a Blake Lively hairdo in dark brown next.

Resolution #02

2010-01-20T01:54:00.005+08:00

It's calling out to me.

I want to laze @ Angaga Island Resort & Spa, Maldives.

Resolution #01

2010-01-19T16:26:00.003+08:00

I'm starting work on the 25th instead. I don't know if it's good news or bad since I've gotten used to bumming, oversleeping for everything, and doing nothing. Life's good though, I would say.

I need to do something productive. But somehow the only thing I've been doing is procrastinating. It's no surprise why my boyfriend would rather play online poker than entertain me. It's because I've become BORING.

You know what they say about honeymoon period? When it's over and everything is a standstill? I am going to try my best to defy that dumb theory.

2nd Blog Entry in Year 2010.

2010-01-18T03:18:00.002+08:00

Finally.

I need a passing grade badly. JUST a passing grade would mean the world to me so I wouldn't have to retake the whole course.

2009 was a really fruitful year, and 2010 is the start of my future. My work will start officially on the 27th and I predict I'll become a whole new person. I'll become a moneymaker! I'm turning freaking 22 this year and I need to stop living in denial, be sensible, and have more discipline in saving money. I need to curb the temptations from those online blogshops, and awesome restaurants.....

And grocery shopping.
And taking taxis.
And new shopping malls that are more welcoming than home.

Moving On.

2010-01-04T03:15:00.001+08:00

I got tired of blogging. I don't own a camera anymore (sigh) and there's nothing original I can post here and it sucks. Sigh. :(

I want...no, I NEED an awesome camera. :(

2009-12-18T16:41:00.006+08:00

my sister-in-law is giving birth to a girl soon. hope she stops reproducing females. because there will be more catfights with each addition.

Sigh.

2009-12-05T04:04:00.002+08:00

It's the season to be stressful.

Money goes.. far la la la la la la la laaaa ~

Dealing with Changes.

2009-11-21T01:17:00.005+08:00

I had to deal with lots of changes this month. Start of my last module (also having to complete another assignment. SIGH), had my hair soft rebonded cuz my hair was badly damaged, withdrew from the "White Xmas" event with the guys, completed my job contract at Adisseo & had to part with a heavy heart....

Although changes will make me sad sometimes, they could be for the better good. I like them. :)

Happy Anniversary!

2009-11-10T00:52:00.005+08:00

Been really busy with many things lately, but I'm too tired to recall most of it, other than Michael's 24th birthday @ Somerset Compass, and First Anniversary with S. I can't believe a year flew by in a blink of an eye. It's my second time celebrating michael's birthday, and I still can't believe my relationship with S is a year old. Geez it's either I'm too slow, or time's going too fast. I can't catch up!

Anyway, it's my last day at work yesterday. Rather sad that my contract has to come to an end after having so much fun at the company. I sent an farewell email to the whole office and the replies I got are utterly sweet, but nothing beats this from my Managing Director,

Paige,

Thanks for your good work and pleasant personality and working style. Good luck at your next job.

I'm flattered! Hahaha

Popped by Grace's workplace after work and I made friends with THIS TWO EXTREMELY MINI AND CUTE MALTESES. OMG I LOVE THEM TO BITS THEY'RE SO WELL-BEHAVED AND LOVABLE AND CUTE AND SQUEEZABLE.

Lady & Honey

Honey is chuckling :)

Honey is smiling!

With Honey again! Haha she likes to dance.

Cutie pies!

Some random dog called Roger.
Somebody's model-ish cat.

I just feel like,

2009-10-26T21:28:00.001+08:00

running t♥ you.

Other Half #02

2009-10-26T01:32:00.006+08:00

My first anniversary with S is coming up in slightly more than a week. I've been racking my brains on what to do for him. My expectations are so high that I'm actually stressed out. Coming to think of it, time is passing too quickly and I can't catch up. The impending anniversary seems like it happened in a blink of an eye. Like, "Eh?!?!"

Anyway, one of the reasons why I love S is because he's SO funny, and ONLY to me! Haha. It'll be great if my close friends can see his humorous side, but well, I guess there can only be a lucky person - Me! My other favourite trait of his is how he is able to observe, describe, and relate things in such a unique way. Very often, things he say makes me ponder and the whole idea puts me in a good mood. Also, he often says that I'm way out of his league, but that's so untrue! He's a league of his own and it seriously makes everyone else look common.

Well, with all that being said, it's probably time for some photos.

The very first proper photo of us on 14th Sep 2008.
He swam out of the crowd to take a picture with me, as promised. :)
(the ones taken on my old lousy samsung phone at simpang in Aug '08 not counted la!)

Our virgin trip to The Singapore Flyer. :)

Some random night after an outing to Bugis.

Another random night @ his place. Check out his short hair. Haha pre-ORD.

We may have lots of shit moments, but what matters most is overcoming it & loving one another more at the end. :) Thank God soooooo much for sending me a white (*ahem private joke*) angel.

Happy Advanced Anniversary, Baby! xoxoxoxo~

Mid-week

2009-10-21T10:26:00.002+08:00

I am down with a cold. The feeling of having an extremely blocked yet runny nose + slight sore throat SUCKS. It's worse than losing your voice. Argh.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! :(

Other Half #01

2009-10-17T21:43:00.002+08:00

Just did an eye mask with the boyfriend. I helped him place his mask on his under eye, and I had to diy my mask which covers my eyes. So love, right? Haha. Anyway, we're starting the full skincare regime because he says he doesn't want his face to sag. I secretly think he's the perfect other half because he's vain like me! :)

Good & Bad News

2009-10-16T11:26:00.003+08:00

Good news: My marketing exam is finally over. I think I'm gonna get at least a C. Well, doesn't seem good enough but as long as I pass! :)

Bad news: Can't seem to find the perfect top coat for my red nail polish. The 6 top coats that I have kept fucking up my nails. Argh. Okay just bought a Skin Food Milk Creamy Nail top coat. Doesn't seem too bad but it isn't glossy enough. Fuck la.

Routine Work

2009-10-09T09:06:00.004+08:00

The things I do in the morning at my office desk:

1) Touch up on my make-up for not less than 10 minutes.
2) Sign in on my msn.
3) Read yahoo news.
3a) This morning, I blog.
4) Read cnn/cna news.
5) Check my hotmail/gmail.
6) Get coffee + biscuits at pantry.
7) Admire myself in the mirror (check make-up) for not less than 10 minutes.
(almost an hour gone by now)
8) Finally, I'll open Microsoft Outlook to check my work emails.

You must be thinking that I'm extremely vain and self-obsessed. Not gonna lie. I am! (Also cuz I'm at the front desk so I must look presentable.)